I think I left a blow job at your house. Can I come down and get it?
I gave it to your brother to give to you.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
We need to talk about our relationship.
I just won a bet involving 10 tequila shots. You've got about 3 minutes
i woke up this morning next to my toilet covered in an attempt to make blanket of toilet paper
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
I sat on my couch last night watching What Women Want, eating ice cream, and sobbing "why doesn't she like me?" Why was I born a man?
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
The oven caught fire. I put it out, but called the fire department just to make sure it was okay since the smoke wasn't going away
You just wanted to meet firemen
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
