we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
I am drinking fireball and apple juice out of a sippy cup like a fucking toddler.
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Yupp. He's definitely a screamer.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
