Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
You just kept stroking his beard and thinking aloud that you wanted to rub your face all over it.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
There's a set of buzz lightyear wings in lost and found at work. I just need access to your roof.
Listen, I've got balls in my face can I call you back
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
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