You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
the liver wants what the liver wants
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
Randomize
