Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I consider myself an expert at getting drunk and embarrassing people at weddings.
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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