Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Heybabeimwearingurpanties
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
it's like heaven, but drunker
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Why do I feel so obligated to masterbate just because I’m single and it’s valentines Day...
Randomize
