i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I just got peed on. This karma circle is starting to get vicious.
You kept showing everyone at the bar your bra to prove it matched your shoes.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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