Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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