yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize
