He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
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