Im at strip club and am horny
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I would do things to you that would get us burned at the stake if we lived in a puritan village.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
Are you absolutely against sleeping in your car? Because i've done that before.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
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