Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
My liver just broke up with me...
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
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