I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
"Wait, who's gun did I have?" Moments when you re-examine your life choices.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
You kept whispering to me that the guy making your burrito was an angel.
Life lesson... stop having side pieces that know each other...ffs.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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