so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
Please God, is a penis possibly making it to vagina town to much to ask for tonight.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
