I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
I joined a mariachi band. they gave me a guitar because i told them i could play. It actually turned out ok
They kicked me out of the mariachi band. Turns out I'm not that good
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
dude, my hangover is telling me there was tequila involved
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
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