You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
By the taste of his semen he isnt vegetarian and therefore lied to me to take me home on a brighter note i stole his fondue set
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I ate shrooms on a frozen river in an ice fishing shack after a day of vics and beer and walked around on the river in a stupor. They made me bite the head off of a fish.
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
I'm bleeding and have questions
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
