I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Im gonna get home and destroy this bag of chicken nuggets with my soul.
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
I took a 19 year old to a strip club and ended up in a three way. Divorced life might be OK.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Don't worry about it too much, but I just committed us to possibly raising a kid
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