You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
In the middle of getting a blow job, she looked up at me and said "this isn't the first time I've done this today"
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
she just sent our roommates a message asking them for a parakeet. are you gonna call later?
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