Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
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