who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
Bar selfie Saturday turned into bar nudie Saturday in a hurry. I need to delete my snapchat...
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
Randomize
