no, he came in my armpit
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
Watching Argentina vs Germany during a wedding on an iPhone. Thank you Steve Jobs.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
After I came she just held my balls until I fell asleep. It was like adult swaddling. Magical...
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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