Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Why are there so many empty soda cans in my room?
You put them in a circle around your bed and said it was the best way to ward of the witches from hocus pocus....then you remembered you needed salt too. I'm assuming you havent gone to the bathroom yet.
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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