Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
My legs feel like baby dolphins
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
