it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
Randomize
