dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
I feel like I'm in a bed a bagels and mistakes.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
Randomize
