the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
just got cropdusted by the delivery guy...this was not in my job description.
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
Sooooo drunk. We had the best sex ever and after he looked at me and said "That's whats up". I looked at him weird and he said "Young Jeezy would say it" and passed out on me naked. I think i might be in love
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
Randomize
