this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
