toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
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