you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
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