What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
ETA 20 minutes and if you greet me at the door with a gin & tonic I’ll give you head.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
