Tell her she can't have a vagina
I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
Dignity is for republicans.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
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