is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
Well I just found a coupon for cheese in the bathroom so I've got that going for me
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