would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
A guy just tried to send me a pic of his penis & my phone sent me a disclaimer saying "the components were unsuitable for your terminal"
Even your phone knows you shouldn't sleep with him...
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
Randomize
