i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
When Vanessa's kindergarten teacher called me in because she was caught with her hand down some boys pants in the bathroom, I knew you babysat last week.
i need some magic done to my vagina
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
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