I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
I feel like you just avenged me for every guy who came in my hair
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.
Randomize
