Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Honestly the prospect of dick really lifts a girl's spirits
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
