he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
They live so far away from me that not fucking them both would have been financially irresponsible
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
