ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I can't wait to get home and brush the fuck outta my teeth.
Literally.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
