this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Hey are you going to the pride parade? If so get me a shit ton of condoms
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Randomize
