Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
wow bdsm is so cute
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
