so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
you were the first one he came out to and you announced it as the finale while singing karaoke at the bar
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
You need to get laid. You spent last night stumbling through the club pulling couples apart and telling them to leave room for Jesus.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Randomize
