Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
i really need to stop putting makeup on my cats..
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
Randomize
