apparently vodka and oj turns green when you throw it up
basic color theory
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Overslept. So hungover. Apparently texting the first person in my contact list the time I would like to wake up is not how the alarm clock in my phone actually works.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
You threw your body across the gross couple hooking up on the couch and demanded they scratch your back. I love you drunk on peach schnapps
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
Randomize
