Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
accidentally stumbled into a construction site at 3am on the way home. The bulldozer was locked so we had to settle for rerouting traffic with all the orange cones...
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
Can I tell you that I just incorporated the spice girls in my sexting and you not judge me
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Randomize
