I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
