I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
Randomize
