His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
Your mom just threw up on me. Please come home.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
