there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
His Australian accent during sex made me think I was in an Outback Steakhouse commercial
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Randomize
