i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
He started doing the gator chop at my vag and said he couldn't wait to "chomp" on it later...and I still slept with him. I hate gainesville.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Thanks for taking care of me. I hope I didn't pee in your car.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
