I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
I have a fever. Last thing I need to do tonight is be elbow deep in old lady pussy.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
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