Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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