I wish life had little blips of pornography
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
50% drunk capacity currently
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
