My hand turned me down
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
Apparently, Mom was less-than-happy about us shotgunning beers before we opened presents.
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
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