And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I just gargled with NyQuil
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
