11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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