Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
You rolled over grabbed my crotch and said "that's my waffle." I'm sleeping on the couch next time.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
