Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Randomize
