Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
I have no idea where we are. But it doesn't look dirty so I don't think we are in jersey yet
I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
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