Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
This is one of the fundamental differences between you and I. If I found meat in a plastic bag, I wouldn't put it in my mouth.
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
