I heard we made out
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Everyone says I win the strip club
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
Randomize
